Last Call for 2011 Vodak

My dear friends, the end of 2011 is near. And an attack by a giant monster would have been about the best thing that happened this year. So! I end the 2011 Vodak series exhausted and uninspired, but ready to recalibrate and try to be a better person in 2012. Something has to change, and I think it will.


Be safe this weekend, be good to friends and family, and remember that life is better lived with a smile. I will try to follow my own advice. Thanks for a ton of support and plenty of reminders that I am not alone against the universe. 
For Vodak walks with me, and with us all.

Merry Christmas!!

May everyone have a great time, and embrace friends and family. Wishing the best to all within earshot.


Since circumstances prevented me from making a 2011 Christmas Card, I thought a good option would be to show some of the oldest here. Many Facebook friends may have never seen some of these.


Enjoy your day and your life -- it's all we got!

CHRISTMAS VODAK

It's Red and Green, That's the best I have right now.


Finally have 3 days without freelance or Flaketastic, but so far behind on holiday prep and guest prep that time is still quite short. So this is my half baked Vodak for the holiday weekend.


Joyous all that crap and stuff to all my friends, and I mean that with a big smile and a heavy shrug! Strangest year on record for me yet, and though 2012 holds the promise of a return to financial stability, I ain't counting those chickens just yet.

POLITICALLY INCORRECT VODAK

Are you offended? eh, get over it. I am still getting laffs out of the seemingly alien language I have encountered in a certain group of co workers who are way younger, hipper and inner-citier than I. Not an indictment; this cover's title came first - Vodak is surely in a house. That led me to the hippity hoppity talk. Though in fact probably no one has actually said "bust a move" since 1987

two of my favorite things

That don't mix!! Rollercoasters and Vodka. Tried it once. Not a good plan.

VODAK is back and low res!

Tonight's Vodak comes from a fairly bad source, but it was too silly to resist. Not much to say. Think I belabored the point here a bit? Well, time for a Vodak of my own. Night all.

Black Friday Vodak

Folks - I am tired and well fed.. this may not be my best Vodak. Except for the tag line. 


Scott Apeshot Gilbert had previously BOB'd this one, so I have resisted, but if that isn't the morst adorable hellspawn I have ever seen... his name is really truly - "GOOM!"


Hope there have been great moments for all my pals this season. Remember, any family gathering can be survived with the proper application of Vodak.

Friday already? Vodak Time.

It has been a week of non stop work.. more or less. More crazy toy logos passed for use, so yeah, you'll soon see my stuff in the dollar stores. Egads.
But I remain committed to the weekly Vodak, and the two or three of you who care.
Perhaps this is my legacy.
I am actually enjoying rum at this moment, though I bought 3 liters of Tito's to prevent future vodak outtages. I have a lot of booze that I will never drink, sweet or syrupy things bought in weak moments. This rum has been laying around since rum - favoring Eric roomed here. Someone come drink my excess boozey crap.


and now.. Huge Ass Vodak™

VODAK OUTTAGE

Something I never thought could happen in my own house -- I am out of Vodka. Well.. I guess RUMMINKOKE might make a good monster mag.. nahhh. It's still all about the Vodak. Very nearly rushed out to buy more, then decided that rum will do. 

And now, your Friday Vodak.

I do base these on what the original text says. The idiots really are yelling "blast off" right next to the rocket!! And the title is "A Martian Among Us!"  So none of these brainiacs noticed the guy with the handsome face, 3 fingers, a gnarled head and hands and gills on his neck and scalp... man.. dumb dumb rocket scientists. It's This Island Earth all over again.

Occupy Galleria

Eh, 12 people are hardly an occupation. It was a great experience even though it surely changed nothing. At least the majority of motorists responded well or not at all; only 3 people I saw flipped us off or told us to get a job (we have jobs).
I have stories to tell but not much time today, so all you get today is a hasty video edit.

Tonight's Public Service Message

Is brought to you by the booze council!
"Booze™ - It Quiets the Voices In Your Head!"

On Bullying and Ennui

Therapy post!

I've been rejected, for a variety of reasons, all my life. The recent posts and stories about bullying get under my skin because my first 30 years were tainted by bullying and that, in addition to be being raised to fail, have made me the wreck I am when it comes down to daily life.

Parents raised me by telling me I'd be a failure, that being an artist was foolish, ought to learn welding. Mom taught me men were useless lazy and awful, while Dad taught me that women were nuts and you should just give up and sleep as much as possible. Together they taught me that marriage was a punishment, and that children are assholes.

Schoolmates from K-12 treated me like an alien, threw things at me, mocked me, ostracized me, shunned me. When puberty set in, I was the laughing stock of all the "cool" girls. It didn't stop at school; I was also targeted by bullies in the workplace. As recently as the late 80s, meth heads at one workplace threatened to whoop my ass because "I acted like I was better than them" (I WAS). As recently as 4 years ago, Bush supporters came after me like I was free fried chicken. Facebook re introduced me to the world of loud mouth ignorant motherfuckers telling me I am useless and wrong.

And in work? I've had the quality of my work praised since my first job at McDonalds. And I lost many a job over conflicts with bullies.

In the comics world, my proposals were praised as brilliant and refused for publication as not marketable.

And same with romance. Every girl I dated, or attempted to, walked away from me - to my utter bafflement, if not surprise. 

It all underlines what has been the primary message aimed at me since birth: You are not good enough. You are wrong. You wear out your welcome. Please go. 

So the sadness and hopelessness runs deep. I am a great worker. I am a talented artist. I have many skills. I can make people laugh. But in the end I NEVER fit in to "normal" society and work, I am always Rudolph, I am their best friend in an emergency but I don't get to play their reindeer games. Banished to the island of misfit toys. Home at last.

bleh.

Why so glum?? It is about BOREDOM.  Whether I simply wore out the pleasure receptors with decades of partying or simply have seen too much - day to day life is more defeatist chore than enjoyable. It is now about the recognition that the future holds nothing better than what has come in the past. It's all downhill from here - health, income, mobility, sanity. When I can distract myself with something huge - a vacation trip, a coaster tour, an electronics purchase - I feel pleasure. But those are dimming as well and the options to enjoy them fading with every day of age and unemployment. My future is pretty certain: unrewarding work at barely living wage with minimal vacation time and benefits. Soon enough my health will fail and I have no insurance and can't possibly afford the $700 a month health insurance cobra fee. I'm one serious injury or disease away from losing everything.

And that country I grew up in, the U.S.? A fading empire that will never recover from its downward spiral; there are too many emerging markets to addict to cigarettes and sugar water to bother caring if this country's citizens earn a living wage or can afford transportation. Those Chinese dollars look really yummy to "job creators" (more like blow job creators). As bad as I have it, I know our children will live in third world conditions by 2025 - this country will be OVER. End of an era. Close the account and let the wolves thin the herd.

I will be protesting on Guy Fawkes day at the Galleria Financial Center; as the country circles the drain, I will at least be on the right side of history. It will accomplish NOTHING I know but I will have made my stand with the few people in this city who don't think that the problem facing this country is coming from the 99% of people who want to have a job and an income and a future.

Have a nice day!!

CAIN is not ABLE.

OKAY, believe me, I have avoided several dozen political posts, but this one, come on, even I cannot resist. Dear "anybody-but-Obamers" - step back. Imagine if Obama said something along these lines. You'd disembowel him and mock him endlessly. Entire days would be lost to Facebook postings about his attempts to twist the answers and avoid the truth. Every day you justify your support for obvious liars, charlatans, candidates who assume you are a complete idiot - simply because "they are not Obama" - you indicate to me that you are not serious about the country, the vote, or the reason Obama must go.


In coming to his own defense; however, Cain said that because he could not recollect certain incidents taking place, that doesn't mean they didn't occur.
Asked if he's ever seen a financial settlement paid to one of two women who accused him of sexual harassment, Cain said, "No. I don't recall signing it. Now, the fact that I say I don't recall signing it doesn't mean that I didn't sign it, but I simply don't recall if I signed it."

This Is Halloween

the 2011 Halloween Display

Time for VODAK!

It's Friday night, everybody, Vodak time. Actually dinner time for Tom, then Vodak and a blanket, because for the next 36 hours, it's Winter in Houston. Wheeee

Exciting opportunity for Graphic Designer!!

Wow, it's so sad to see someone offer $2-$5 an hour for an "experienced graphic designer". It's actually sadder to see how many people are willing to go that low. I'm pretty sure I can make more money collecting cans.

sickened

I can't write much about this without sinking into hopeless depression.


The police action on the peaceful non violent OWS protests has darkened my view of this country and our future. AS is the glee with which many Republicans view the injuries and pretend that somehow these kids with face paint are some great threat to our union, and the gun-toting tea party is our savior.


Every day my respect for my Conservative friends diminishes as they choose to mock the cause and laugh when people are hurt, or just say "they were asking for it".


It's deeply sickening and I really have no hope for the future of the United States citizens. WE are locked into the downward spiral, but that is not the worst part of it. The WORST PART is that about half the population seems to believe, or at least supports candidates who believe:

• No one is poor unless they are lazy.
• Asking for oversight of banks is asking for a free handout; banks are your buddies.
• Veterans of the Armed Services deserve to be beaten if they participate in the protests.
• If one guy is wearing a goofy costume, it invalidates the view of the thousands who aren't. Unless you are talking about the tea party, then painting your face with a flag and dressing up as the Staue of Liberty is patriotism.
• Free speech yes, as long as you stay in your damn house.

Just because you are not mad at the banks, just because you think everything wrong is Clinton and Obama's fault, even if you still are driving around with a W bumper sticker..


This is wrong, un American and horrifying. If you don't speak out against it - shame on you.

Not Much Really

So how did I spend so much time posting my thoughts at Facebook? I don't have a dang thing to say here. How about an update on life without Facebook?


My vacation from Facebook is not permanent, I am simply experimenting to see if avoiding it helps cut back on my mood swings. So far, YES, IT DOES. I have been watching the same pages I used to post on, and seeing the same things but not responding allows me to forget the irritation or trigger fairly quickly. So it doesn't get under my skin, I don't spend any time regretting posts, or formulating arguments in my head. This is indeed helpful.


It's a side effect of being jobless. When I am re-employed, no doubt I can Facebook without letting it become so "important" to my disposition. But as my only source of less-than-surface human interaction 6 days out of 7, it was helping me lose it, lately.


I am "missing out" on photos and drawings shared by friends and family. I look at them and so want to comment, and don't, unwilling to break my own rule so soon. However, if I can learn to be more like sis and niece - post an occasional picture, joke, link - and very little "serious" content, just fun - Facebook will be more of what it originally was for me. A fun place to be funny.


Today is a good day for 3 reasons:

http://bites.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/10/24/8467559-7-crazy-gut-busters-for-national-greasy-foods-day

BIOPHILIA streaming on Spotify

Wow, I was unimpressed with Bjork's Biophilia album (live show a whole nother story - it's a package deal) but holy cow "Mutual Core" is the Bjork I love. You can listen to the whole album on Spotify. Please do!!


http://bjork.com/#/past/discography/biophilia

red Jack

VODAK! 10-21-11

Welcome to the new home of VODAK!! Every Friday near dark!


click to enlarge!

The Almost Compleat Jack

Wow. He is very pleasing to look at. I will work on lighting after dark. He is not really fully done - the weight of the arms prevented me from raising them high, and though this positioning looks good, too tempting for tiny tots who want to grab his hand.


This really will make my house stand out.. eh?


as always - click any image for larger version and slideshow

Is Facebook Making Us the Krell?

A follow up on my decision to see if not participating in Facebook will help keep me less prone to despair. These thoughts ran through my head last night so why not use them?
I was sad to "lose" the comments, posts and wit of dozens of truly fine people, and was beating myself up, "Why!? Now you have no humans left in your life!!"
But the why is simple - every day for I don't know how long, I have been having terrible lapses of mood and been really really overwrought. I traced it back to a half dozen or so triggers, and within those, FB kept cropping up.

• Post a rant or wail, and make a relative or friend worry about me, and then feel like crap for being such a whiner and making people sad.
• Read a post that makes me sick to my stomach by someone I know as humane, thoughtful and kind. Reel in Horror at the thought that so many nice people can be okay with murdering illegal immigrants, telling the poor they just aren't working hard enough. Get depressed over the fact that humanity is by nature cruel and selfish.
• Overreact to a right wing post and offend someone, or get caught in a never ending circle jerk of thoughtless parroting. Waste hours and gain despair arguing with people who are only interested in arguing, not discussing.

Now, there have been great moments. Sheri's AC. Vodak. JP, Leslie, Paula, Irene.. I won't name you all. BUT..
It's changed. It's as if I found, a few years back, a really cool diner to hang out at where I had a lot in common with the other patrons and we had cool discussions and fun and laughed and made each other feel good. Then, the word started to spread, and a bunch of strangers started hanging out there. They'd take the good seats, and in loud voices, annoy the regulars, abuse the staff, and fart a lot. They leap up from their table and insert themselves into your conversation to tell you you are full of shit. They have loud, obnoxious conversations on their cell phone. The diner is no longer so much fun, as there are now a whole lot of assholes in the joint and you can't keep them out.


Uh, TOM, you mentioned the Krell? Remember?


I am getting there.


Many of my friends know the movie Forbidden Planet by heart. The ID MONSTER. For my sci-fi hating family, I will elaborate: The Krell was an advanced race that at the height of their existence, built a massive machine to "free themselves from physicality", to be able to will things into existence. A Utopia.
What the Krell did not count on was the primal portions of our brains, the "mindless primitive" that we all tamp down to fit into a society. The part that fears, hates, seeks revenge, on primal triggers. If you are an introspective sort you know your mindless primitive and keep it chained up deep in your mind. But when you dream, the cage often unlocks. In their dreams, the Krell destroyed themselves expressing their rage and jealousy and fear.
Morbius fell into the same trap. His conscious mind knew killing people was not an appropriate reaction to worrying about his daughter falling in love. But at night? His Id Monster, with the endless power of the Krell machinery, went on a rampage of selfish destruction.


See?

If Facebook isn't the Krell machinery, it's too close for comfort. Massive power, no responsibility, no accountability, pervasive. We have surrendered our physical interraction for the many positive aspects of cyberspace friendships. But many, myself included, find that the brakes and cautions we exercise in actual social situations disappear in Facebook, and the result is a whole lot of ugly going on. Cruel attacks and abusive reactions that would never fly in the real world.


If I was dining with friends and talking about, oh, say, OWS, there's little chance someone I do not know would get up from his table, walk over, sit down and tell us we are all full of shit and need to get a grip and calm down or we'll have a heart attack. Either because they are participating in society, don't know if we are carrying concealed or are too lazy to walk over. But I guarantee you, they would not behave the way they do in Facebook.


So that's my analogy. Freed from personal, instant, physical reaction to bullshit, plenty of people now spew bullshit without a second's consideration. The mindless primitive gets equal airtime with the thoughtful sage. The one screaming the loudest and typing the fastest takes center stage. You can't tell who is wearing the "911 truthers" shirt or masturbating to Palin. It would be easier to dismiss if you could.


Anyway,that's my thought today. Facebook is the Krell machinery, and may destroy us all. Perhaps an overreaction.


Come back later tonight for Vodak, won't you?

The Jack that Tom Built

All the pieces are together - somewhat loosely. The weight suggests I will need to fasten things more securely rather than make him extra posable. A light wind at this point would destroy him. So he looks great but not yet ready for prime time. Hopefully by tomorrow eve he will make his neighborhood debut.

The NEW home of Tom Stazer

My previous blog started as place to express anger and mutated into a place to spread joy. This left it with a really ugly, incoherent url and a loss of interest by yours truly. I am attempting to shake off Facebook and use my computer to bring value to the world instead of pain to my existence

THE PLAN is to use this space to post VODAKs, my weekly boozey in-joke. To let friends chat at me. To share the cartoons, art and photos that are what people really like about me. To create, not destroy.


Lofty goal - no chance at all of success, really!


Here's some scans from the personal archives